I'm Married!!!

... or at least that is what I have been telling people today. [For all of you whose heart stopped upon reading the title of this blog, you can breathe now.]

Today I went with Thabani and family to a pre-wedding celebration [that I will talk about in another post]. I make myself look decent, which I rarely do here, and Thabani greets me by saying, "Oh, you are definitely getting a husband today." "I'd rather not," is my instant reply.
As I sat squashed between Thabani and his rather large wife, the stick shift between my legs, I brainstorm how to get out of this situation if it comes up. Obviously saying "Nginalo isoka [I have a boyfriend]" has yet to work, because the reply is usually about how I can have a South African boyfriend and he will never know. Maybe I should say, "I'm only 22." No... that means absolutely nothing. I could pretend that I am homosexual, but that could actually get you killed depending on who you tell. Suddenly, it dawns on me. Duh. I'm already married.Why didn't I think of this before?
"If anyone asks," I announce, "I'm married. Happily married. For the last two years."

Today I am sitting outside the rondavel, playing with 9-year old Nomcebo, when I am approached again by a stumbling man who obviously partook in the ceremonious men-drinking-until-they-can't-stand routine today. He stops to shake my hand, and for the second time today he holds on to it for nearly a minute. "Why are you so beautiful?" He asks. I just try to politely smile. "Are you married?"
"Yes."
"Where is your husband?"
"He's not here at the moment."
"Where is your husband? He isn't here?"
"No."
"Does he know how beautiful you are? He is a lucky man."
"Thank you."
"Where do you live?"
"In town. Very far away."
"I live close. Do you want to see my house?"
"No, thank you."
"Do you want to see my house? It is close. Come to my house."
"Not today."
"You know, when you talk, you sound like Mary J. Blige."
[[I have a confused look.]]
"Really. You are like Mary J. Blige."
"...Thanks?"
"I love you. I really love you."
"Thank you."
[[He looks hurt]] "But you cannot deny true love. I love you." He then stumbles over to the corn field/chicken coop/trash area in front of me, whips it out and pees, all the while looking over his shoulder winking at me. "Too bad you aren't married to me."

Was that a success? I think it was. This continued to have similar results throughout the day.

The picture above is just a teaser to a blog update about today. I am going to wait until I can get to an internet cafe so I can put pictures in properly!